"A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” -George Bernard Shaw

Summer is coming to a close. No matter how I try to savor every late sunset, it seems to have flown by in the blink of an eye. We hosted family again, and took them to the Chicago Botanical Garden for the first time. My favorite tree is a weeping willow, and the Japanese gardens are breathtaking. I was lucky enough to capture a bee pollinating and butterflies copulating. How beautiful is that bourbon specimen? It may just be my second favorite type of Rose.

For his dad's birthday, we held a cookout in the park. We played Frisbee, grilled many meats on a new hibachi, and joked long into the evening. Many of those in attendance are from our Prognosticators league, and I love how fast they've become family.

We took Michael's mother to visit the library downtown. I overheard him tell her that if he were ever to get married again, the top floor ballroom is where he'd want to hold the ceremony. It is a beautiful room! I'd be blissed to help him and the as-yet-unknown lucky bride plan it out. Even though I'll never see it happen to me in this reality, it warms my heart that in some version of the multiverse that is life. I gazed softly at the room and saw the ghosts of those selves. I hope they're as happy as I am for them.

While waiting for the Harold Washington Library branch to open, we picked up a copy of this laser chess game. I guess it is called khet, and it is super tricky. I've played exactly one game of it since, and I somehow won. Beginner's luck? Probably. I may or may not quit while I'm ahead.

“The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.” -Marcus Aurelius

I won the belt at WWE Battleground! The second women's champion in belt history. I'm making some minor upgrades. Congratulations to Brian, who is entitled to the belt as of the last PPV. (I swear you'll get to add your name to it soon, banana.) I accidentally held it hostage, due to some travel dates, and I'll bring it with me to No Mercy.

“There was nowhere to go but everywhere, so just keep on rolling under the stars.” -Jack Kerouac, On the Road

Due to the freelance life, Michael needed to get some reliable wheels. The hustle is real. Enter Florence the Machine. She's a beautiful 2014 Ford Focus Titanium. It was the perfect new-to-you deal. Certified pre-owned from a lil' old church lady, low miles and great condition at the right price. She's already formed a love affair with his pod-pod (original iPod). I'm pretty sure they are sentient and curate the "random" playlist. It is fantastic.

"It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce." - Voltaire

Bim Bam Boom invaded the suburbs, and tore up the rooftop at Durty Nellies. It felt good to roll up to a marquee, a spacious dressing room, and an enthusiastic audience. I had the pleasure of meeting traveling powerhouse, Calamity Kate, who guested with us for this show. She's a real firecracker, and you should jump given the chance to see her perform. I couldn't be more proud of our new ensemble, and our stellar producer Kevlar B. Lightning.

Gearing up for our run at the Playground Theater (3209 N Halsted St, Chicago, IL 60657), we got together for our first cast photoshoot. It had been a long time since I'd had the pleasure of working with this photographer. It feels like coming home, or full circle, to be collaborating with someone who'd documented some of my first shows. Here are a few of my own favorite shots by John Dart. Come see our Halloween special, "Crypt-Tease: Things That Go Bump'n'Grind in the Night" by getting advance discounted tickets at BimBamBurly.com

“The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.” -Gloria Leonard

A long time coming, Mewtini and I shot a set in her natural habitat. If there's one thing for certain, she's a pizza slut. I love her dearly for this, and so much more. She made a damn fine pie. Tits and tush and tasty eats. Days like these I'm not sure how I got so lucky that this is life, but here we are. Ç'est si bon. As soon as it is all finished in the editing queue, I'll be sure to share how you can see more of this rare beauty.

“Fantasy is hardly an escape from reality. It's a way of understanding it.” - Lloyd Alexander

Steampunk Weekend at Bristol Renaissance Faire was a smashing good time. We were able to cavort around the grounds in not one, but two separate looks from Chainmaille Fashions that day. Randolph was so good to us, as is usual. I always feel like a treasure modeling his wares. He was even so kind as to allow some saucy instax be taken for my Patrons. We weren't able to grab tickets to the Pub Crawl, so that sealed it: we would be back before season's end. And next time, we'd bring an entourage. Little did we know how well the day would go. I can't wait to tell you all about that chronicle...

“Not all those who wander are lost.” - J.R.R. Tolkien

On somewhat short notice, I was whisked away to Seattle. My aunt got married to her long term partner. She's the family I most align with, the hippie liberal on the west coast. I love the topography there. Every now and again, I need to see the mountains. I need to visit rolling terrain, and I won't give up my waterways to do it. We went hunting sea monsters together. She took me to the Ballard farmer's market. We picked up her wedding treats from Cupcake Royale. She took me to Biscuit Bitch, along the boardwalk, through the Olympic Sculpture Park, and to visit the Space Needle. I love her dearly; and her new husband, with bonus son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter are all wonderful people I'm thrilled to call family.

From Seattle to Canada in less than twenty four hours. One fabulous vacation folded right into a road trip! I crossed the Ambassador Bridge and immediately reached for peak Canadian. Tim Horton's, baby. Exploring Ontario as much as possible, I hit up Niagara Falls, Ottawa, and Toronto. I've loved the Falls since I was little, but the Canadian side is by far the best. The last time I'd gone, you didn't need a passport for a day trip, so that's been too long. I rode the Hornblower into the mist and toured behind the Horseshoe Falls. I met up with Khoos while visiting Ottawa. We walked around town, shared some smoked meats and a beaver tail (like an elephant ear, a cinnamon sugar pastry treat), and watched the Northern Lights presentation at Parliament. Morning after, I went back to the national lawn to watch the changing of the guard. Canada150 is still in full swing, and I just love the way they celebrate their national pride. It is tempered and respectfully cognizant, as you expect from the notoriously polite Canadians. Refreshing when you come from the in-your-face "home of the brave." On the way back to 'merica, I stopped in on the CN Tower. It just felt right after being at the Space Needle less than a week before. I especially love the glass floor, the first of its kind, and still far more appealing than the glass afterthought they tacked onto the Sears Tower back home. It was almost hard to leave, if only for the impeccable road conditions. I'd gladly pay their tax rates on fuel, if the money was allocated as wisely it is there. In fact, the jarring difference between Windsor and Detroit might be what led to this being my last road trip in my car. More on that in another issue...

“Books are a uniquely portable magic.” –Stephen King

Currently reading the memoir with my partner, and the other novel in my precious little quiet leisure time. Both are laugh out loud funny, but will also show you something familiar through a unique lens. I've not finished either, but feel very secure in recommending both to you, dear reader. What are you devouring? I could use another title on my seemingly endless to read shelf. Hit me up on Goodreads, if you've got a suggestion.

Stay Naughty, Perv Patrol.

All My Lust,


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