Wandering Self-aware Starstuff

So much to catch you up on, Perv Patrol! Books, music, performances, important life event style stuff, and new modeling work... Where do I even begin?! At the beginning, I suppose, would be a very good place to start. Or so I'm told. Strap in! Let's go!

Fireside PopsiclesWitch!Mighty in Sorrow

Pictured above are a trio of anthologies I highly suggest you buy for yourself, a loved one, or even someone you're not terribly fond of, but have a deep need to make a better person through exposure to new and interesting things. Firstly, can we talk about the cover of Fireside Popsicles?! I'm loving that cover art pretty hard. Inside is a story by my love that recounts the "Confession and Redemption of the Apostle Abbot Technobabble." If you're a devotee of the FSM, this is one not to be missed. My girl Andy deFonseca also brings her tale of "The Splash" to the party, along with a couple handfuls of other amazing authors. All in all a stack of fun, and - if this tells you anything about me - my idea of a good beach read.

Next up there is Witch! which, as the title aptly suggests, is a compilation of short stories on the topic of witches. I'm particularly proud of Michael Allen Rose for his contribution, "Witchfister." With a title like that, you're set up for a raunchy and exploitative romp, and then he spins a yarn so much more substantive and gripping. I will never cease to be amazed at his talent for pacing, and injecting powerful messages into his work. Whether side-splitting comedy or, as this is, brimming over with contemplative and eerie mood, there is so much more going on under the surface. Simply genius, and I promise you that isn't a misty eyed dreamer's love-soaked brain doing the talking. Oh, there are other stories about witches, by other talented authors, in there which I, in all honesty, haven't gotten to read yet.

Finally, Mighty In Sorrow brings us a "literary tribute to a true visionary," David Tibet. Again, jam packed with fabulous writers leaving inspiring things on the page. Michael's entry, "The Puppet of Grudges" is delightfully sinuous, and vaguely sinister. I won't spoil it for you by going on and on. Just read it. You'll certainly be glad you did. He reminds me to let you know, dear reader, that if you buy the physical copies of any of his works, he's the type who will gladly sign things for you. Drop my name when you do, too. I like to know there is a pulse on the other side of this digital signal. *wink*

Bizarro Trio

You'll already know if you're a follower on instagram, that I am elated to add these three titles to my library. There's No Happy Ending by Tiffany Scandal, Japan Conquers the Galaxy by Kirsten Alene, and The Cheat Code for God Mode by Andy deFonseca. I'm 2/3 through them, and I'm having a great time. I've even taken to using a Goodreads account for those of you who would want to connect there, as well. If you like my blathering on about books here, I'm much more focused when I'm purposefully reviewing one thing at a time. haha. I had so much fun with The Cheat Code for God Mode, I'll even reprint the review I wrote here:

"I was sucked in on page one, and had to force myself to come up for air. Andy’s humor is as multidimensional as her protagonist’s journey. She doesn’t insult her readers by dumbing it down for the lowest common denominator. I thoroughly enjoyed every nerdgasm thrown at me! The blue moments, generally provided by Victor, are pitch perfect. Subtlety is clearly a strong suit here, and extra credit for the feather-touch nod to a certain pack of crazy in the bizarro multiverse.

She has put together a strange, but familiar landscape, without tedious over explanation. Margy is just the right kind of abrasive, and her strength is not undercut by falling into tropes. In fact, Andy doesn’t shy away from calling that opportunity out, and keeps her female fully capable to face her struggle. I couldn’t be a bigger cheerleader for this NBAS title, and can’t wait to see what other worlds Andy will take us to. 0100000100101011 (A+)

Now I'm Nothing Now I'm NothingNow I'm Nothing

In April, I played roadie/groupie for Michael. We went down to Joliet so Now I'm Nothing could blow everyone away at their show with Lateralus at Mojoes. One of many bands he'll play with, and certainly one of my very favorites, it is a NIN cover band. Coated in cornstarch, with the energy of wild beasts riding nukes in space, they're simply too entertaining to believe. Unless you have a time machine to take you back to the 90s, this is as good as a NIN show gets. Video simply can't do it justice, but have this little taste courtesy of Anthony Camastro. I'm beyond smitten with rockstar boyfriend on backup vocals and tearing up the keyboard. Also, have an eyeful of that fabulous chick bassist pal of mine. More on Karen later...

Like I said, more on Karen. This is she and I at Glitch Mode Recording:

#sochiproblems. That's us taking a selfie while hover-pissing next to one another. Yeah, we're classy ladies, and thought a restroom without dividers needed to be documented on the internet, while in use. Our relationship reached the next level that day. I'm not sure what level that is, but it is comfortable, I'll tell you that.

So why were we at a super fabulous recording studio, with less than first world bathroom facilities? Flood Damage is working on a NEW ALBUM. I'm so damn excited. Every session I'm able, I'm down at the studio, listening to one killer track after another being built. I may even be roped into doing some easy backup vocal oohing, before all is said and done. Sean Payne is producing, and he's clearly the perfect man for the job. Progress is steady and solid, because he's a kindred spirit with considerable talent. The influences and nuances are not lost on him in the least. I have every faith that I'll be listening to this on repeat long before year's end. When they come out of the studio, and get back on the stage, it is sure to be immense.


I went out to Metro to see The Dillinger Escape Plan, Trash Talk, Retox, and Shining play. I was really impressed with all the opening bands, but none more so than the first, Shining. I'm going to have to download their album, because the set list was solid as a rock. It is this avant-garde jazz-metal, and singer/guitarist/saxophonist/songwriter Jørgen Munkeby just slays me. The talent, my gods, it just permeates everything. The energy in the room was palpable from note one. It started so strong and just kept feeding on itself until Dillinger was done. We were up in the balcony, and watching the pit was just hypnotic. I rather enjoyed gazing at the masses below, having a constantly stellar sight line to the stage, and sipping on my drink in the comfort of my seat. Maybe I'm just too threadbare to be moshing anymore, and that's okay by me. In fact, you can see me in the balcony shot above, first row, fifth from the left. That little dot is enjoying her rum.

In the world of burlesque: more Flying Spaghetti Monster goodness for you all.


I had the extremely good fortune to join The Glitter Guild to perform at the C2E2 Afterparty at Castle Nightclub in the heart of Chicago's River North neighborhood. A whole night of geek themed burlesque catered to the nerdily inclined. Go check out all the show photos, because there were nearly nude tributes to Galactus, TMNT, Carmen Sandiego, The Walking Dead, Venture Bros, Silk Spectre, the reigning king of burlesque - Ray Gunn as a clockwork Tin Man, and Red Rum's American Horror Story. After the first set, I had the chance to mingle with the crowd as Inara Serra, go-go dancing for almost a half an hour. It was super fun!

You just can't close out a party like that without one hell of a bang, and that was exactly what the VIP Secret Lair show accomplished. First up was Harry Potter burlesque, and then it was my turn to make everyone all wet! My Serenity (Firefly) act is so versatile. I love performing it on a grand stage, but it ended up working really well in an intimate atmosphere, too! Katie Angel, from Indy, rocked my world with her Kingon act. It must be seen to be believed. And enjoyed. Over and over. One of the Stage Door Johnnies, Bazuka Joe, absolutely tore up the stage as Speed Racer. I still, I just... there simply aren't words for how much I enjoyed that number. I really dropped my panties over the Gob Bluth "illusion" act by Slightly Spitfire. Everything in the lair was capped off with Red Rum's Twilight Zone act. Seriously, that's a whole metric fuck-ton of showmanship in a tight little package.

I look forward to every opportunity I have to play with the Glitter Guild. They're simply the best at what they do, and give everyone a stellar experience from top to bottom, without exception.

If you're new here, I'm a super fan of Jem and the Holograms.

...and the Misfits, of course.

Those are my dolls, posing for instagram on Easter. All these years gone by, I still love the show, I still enjoy playing with dolls, and I am skeptical-anxious to see what they do with the reboot live action film. Meanwhile, I'm mixing music and costume building for a new Jem burlesque act. It will be truly outrageous! I've been asked why I'm more keen on the protagonists than the rebels. To be heady about it for a moment, given the choice to be Pizzazz or Jem, I identify with Jem's duality more than Pizzazz's rejection of Phyllis.


I made some fakeout takeout. That's homemade zuppa toscana, salad, and breadsticks, à la Olive Garden. It was delicious. Easter wasn't complete until there was rainbow Jello. I should eat Pride food more often. Everything tastes better when it is a little gay.

So remember how I told you there was this life event style happening in my world? Well, I met the boyfriend's parents. They're from North Dakota, and came to stay for a few days. I'd Skyped with them over the winter holidays, but hadn't met them properly until last weekend. Each lovely in their own way, and getting to know them made it quite obvious where Michael gets some of the qualities I fell so hard for. Despite getting rather heartbreaking news while they were visiting, no clouds were hanging over our good time. We showed them around our city, taking them to as many [often culinary] points of interest as we could cram into a single trip. Some highlights:

Myopic Books

Museum of Science and Industry

Chinatown + Saint's Alp Teahouse (for bubble tea)

Shanghai Terrace

This is one of those establishments just dripping with class. It is the little things in life, like servers addressing us by reservation ("Mr. Rose and guests") as they collect our orders. The food was delectable, the view incredible, and the memories priceless.

Flagrant Public Display of Affection:

Sometimes I stop by the flat to do little things, like wash the dishes. At this point, it is only fair. I'm living there part time. We did the key exchange thing, and it makes leaving little notes for him such an easy choice. Then I get text messages of my notes back, edited.


I've been pals with Mewtinie for years and years. I've made some really fantastic life choices with her, and one of those was shooting her debut set for Zivity. I hope to make a follow-up with her sometime this year. We did manage to get together for a lady date to play catch up and go drinking, which I relished every moment of. I do not get to hang out with her as often as I'd like, nor in the capacity I'd most enjoy. Circumstances seem to keep our schedules at odds, but hope endures.

One of the photographers I work with, Louis Fitch, started a tarot series. The first few images absolutely took my breath away. I approached him about posing for a card, any card he'd like. As it turned out, Michael and I both posed for him as The Lovers. I treasure the way it came out. We had such fun shooting several different concepts that day, and I can't wait to do it all over again soon. So much love for making art with fascinating creatives!

Copyright Louis Fith 2013

This is from my first sitting with Louis Fitch, last year. The Tambourine.

Honestly, the caliber of artists I get to collaborate with is completely off the charts.

So, if anyone is looking for a way to spoil me rotten, a school desk would do it. I found the one pictured at Brown Elephant, a local charity consignment shop. Short of that, try a lightsaber whip. The latter is fun, and I love getting my nerd and my kink on concurrently. The former holds a special place in my catholic schoolgirl heart.

Up to this point, I've made the very conscious decision to stay away from thematic elements such as age play or heavy bdsm. All too often these topics are misconstrued, and some of my publishers have guidelines prohibiting expression of those fetishes. While I don't see it as my duty to portray every one of my personal kinks for the public, I am revisiting the idea of exploration in "darker" themes wherever appropriate. I want to push boundaries. Images that appeal to me most provoke thought, and incite conversation.

"The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform." - Alfred Kinsey

I've had a few modeling sessions lately, which has most recently resulted in these two photosets being published:

Tea Time on GodsGirls

Members of GG who comment on my sets are the first to see the teasers for whatever it might be that I'm working on at the time. I've also taken to quoting some of my favorite comments on my website. See what members are saying. My dear Cruel Valentine shot this one for me. It was her first foray behind the lens, and she did a bang up job!

Fringe Benefits by Syzygy in the Bottoms Up prize contest on Zivity.

If you are a Zivity member, vote on this set, and get rewarded with bonus material. It is way sexier than a pledge drive!

5 votes = Your Favorite Image Sent to You
10 votes = Your Own Copy of the Entire Published Set
15 votes = 9 Ultra Sexy shots + the published set!
25 votes = One signed print (via USPS) + Ultra Sexy shots + the published set!

On the left, you have a tiny taste of a private collection of photos. A member of FetLife and I connected a while back, and we've had several mutually beneficial trades. He'll send me lingerie, and I'll model it for him. We've got this great pen pal perv thing going, and it is super fun. This last trade came with not only lovely new lingerie, but also with toys galore!

On the right, is a teaser of a set in editing right now. I'm wearing the corset my trade friend sent me. The latter half of the set is much too hot for Zivity, so it seems that this one might land on GodsGirls. If it does, this will be my first hardcore stamped album.

Two UNFINISHED teasers, shot by photographers I'd not yet had the pleasure of working with on Zivity! [left] Andyleigh is brand new to Zivity, and I'm thrilled to be her debut model. She did an exquisite job of shooting. So much so, editing has been nearly impossible - there are just too many good images! I know the incentives will largely be outtakes, sacrificed simply for brevity. In the comfort of a bubble bath, I relax and read from several different bizarro titles. She and I had collaborated on a Chicago contingent of Tiffany Scandal's project, Scandalous Sundays, in which she has alt pinup girls posing with bizarro books. I've done several of these, and even had a few memed. Now I'm bringing the initiative to Zivity members and artists. [right] I've been blessed to reconnect with a good friend. We had shared a lover in the past, life circumstances tore us apart, and now we're picking up right where we left off. Now he's my photographer! A stellar one, at that! We trekked out into a forest preserve, went just a little off trail, and found this gorgeous clearing. I adore shooting outdoor sets! It is incredibly liberating. We took our time, and our familiarity shines through. His use of depth of field, command of light and shadow, and knack for framing really make this a jewel in my portfolio.

I'm sad to hear news of Community being canceled, as I'm watching it from the beginning on Hulu. Currently on season 3, and can't get enough of those genre episodes. The characters are broken, but retain at least one quality that keeps them likeable. Guest stars like Betty White and John Goodman should make even the most stoic of viewers crack up. I'm completely crazed about the cliff hanger on this season's finale of Castle. I adore that show so much, and I'm maybe a little bit insulted by the cheap trick at the end of an otherwise entertaining episode. What I really enjoyed about the interplay between Caskett is that their value wasn't solely based on the "will they? won't they?" sexual tension. They showed that coupling and sex isn't the only payoff. People remain interesting, they continue to face challenges. Happily ever after isn't so simple. I'm a little worried that they traded that device for a "can they? can't they?" style wedding. Let's get them hitched and get back to the murders. Preferably with Laney as coroner, always. Other than that, the only other television I'm watching religiously is Cosmos. I had an obsession with the Carl Sagan's Cosmos: A Personal Voyage. Neil deGrasse Tyson's Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey is easy to fall for, too. Obvious reasons.



Until we meet again, my darlings.

All my lust, Sauda

© 2022 Sauda Namir. All rights reserved.